So much better

I am feeling a lot better. The heavy m/c bleeding has stopped. I am now barely spotting and not having any cramps. Emotionally, I am feeling a lot better since it has passed. I did get a little emotional tonight in a department store at the mall... but that's because the lady was rude to me about not getting the shower gift sooner (they didn't have stuff in stock) and I got choked up thinking about WHY I didn't get the gift sooner (was going through the m/c & starting back work). So I cried for about 10 minutes in the store and got myself together.

Monday is my big appointment. Not sure if she's going to do an ultrasound to confirm that all the pregnancy tissue is gone or not. I am going to get another blood draw done so hopefully those numbers (on Tues or Weds) will reflect an hCG level of zero. I pray she doesn't change her mind on the Clomid & progesterone or want to wait to start it or something... she has been very understanding over the phone and very proactive, so I don't have any reason to believe she will "change her mind" on me or anything. I just hope it's as easy as her saying, "ok, let's start this your next cycle, here are the prescriptions..." but I honestly have no idea how it works. Some women are monitored on Clomid... others are not. If I'm not taking a big dose of it, I won't need to be. I guess a lot of my questions will be answered Monday afternoon!

I really feel like this could be our answer. I really feel like we could be pregnant before this year is over, with a healthy, sticky baby! I have no reason to feel this hope & optimism given my history... so I'm left with thinking it's God's way of comforting me and giving me hope that it will truly be the solution. I have prayed for peace day & night. Peace for our situation and peace for what's to come. Peace for all the uncertainty and I believe I have been granted that peace. We still have a long road ahead of us and if we do get pregnant, a stressful, nerved up 12+ weeks... (who am I kidding, 40 weeks!!!) but I feel like God is giving me this peace for a reason. That's all I can really say for now.